How to Lose a Guy in 10 Seconds (or less!)
by awkwardxconfused
Summary: In which the Strauss sisters are plotting, Lucy is the victim, Mira never runs out of guys, the whole guild is meddlesome, Team Natsu (sans Lucy) is overprotective, guys keep running away, and everyone is plain devious. Who knew dating could be so hard?


It was a fairly sunny day in Magnolia. The streets were crowded and the people were going about on their own businesses. Nothing seemed out of place. It was just a normal day.

And on this very day, a certain blonde mage was casually strolling down the streets. But this time, her destination wasn't the guild.

She was to meet up with her date.

Yes, you read it right. Lucy's got a date.

A sigh escaped the girl's lips as she recalled what happened the previous night. Last night, two white-haired girls had oh-so innocently informed her that someone had requested for her assistance.

She didn't know that what they meant by assistance was she had to go on a date with some complete stranger.

Those devious Take-Over sisters. They set her up just like that.

She sighed again. Not that she minded it, though.

She's not getting any younger anyway. It was time for her to get a boyfriend.

She shuddered upon remembering the Strauss sisters' squeals and smiles when the blonde had (unenthusiastically) agreed to it.

It was obvious that they were really excited, more excited than the one going on the date actually. They had even gone to the trouble of breaking in her house just to wake her up extra early in order to prep her for her date.

But she's got to admit that the two have great fashion sense.

Today, she didn't wear her usual, revealing clothes. Instead, she wore a floral sundress that stopped just below her knees paired with brown, high heeled boots. A thin, light brown waist was secured loosely around her waist, and both her whip and keys are nowhere to be seen. Instead of bringing along her keys, she had worn Leo's key as a necklace instead, securing a chain around it and hiding it underneath her dress (much to the spirit's delight). She had her hair in the usual twintails, her bangs clipped to the side with a star hairclip (courtesy of Lisanna), and she had light make-up on.

The siblings really take her dates seriously.

Sighing, she looked up from the ground and saw the park where she was supposed to meet up with her supposed date. She crossed her fingers, hoping she wasn't exactly late.

Well, she would have arrived earlier if her teammates hadn't been alerted of the situation she's in. (She's praying that the Strauss sisters have found a way to prevent her team from going on a rampage.)

A man of his early twenties appeared before her, donning a checkered blue button-up shirt, black pants, and a pair of sneakers. He had messy black hair and the most tantalizing pair of green eyes the blonde had ever seen.

"Hi." She squeaked out nervously. Now that she thought about it, she's never really talked to a guy outside of Team Natsu for a long time.

"Hello." The raven-haired man gave her a warm smile before offering a hand to her. "Shall we go?"

She relaxed a bit before returning the man's smile. "Okay!" She chirped, taking his hand.

She blindly followed him as they weaved in and out of the crowds of people. "Um, where are we going?" She asked shyly, trying to break the silence between them.

He turned to glance at her for a moment. "We're going to this café that's recently opened." He answered as he continued to lead her through the crowded streets of Magnolia. "I heard they served the best smoothies in all of Fiore."

 _'Not as great as Mira's, I bet.'_ Lucy couldn't help but think. But she quickly shook that thought away.

"They also have a mini library that you can check out while you're there." He continued, a shy smile forming on his lips. "I heard you like reading, so I thought that you might like the place."

The blonde felt her cheeks heat up. "O-oh. Thanks."

The rest of the walk to the café was spent in a (hopefully) comfortable silence.

"We're here." He spoke, finally breaking the silence that befell them.

She glanced at the building. It had a fairly decent-looking exterior with a homey feel to it. She drank in every single detail of their surroundings for a moment and just as they were about to enter, a voice called out to her.

"Lucy?" The blonde froze. Stiffly, she turned around to see the owner of the voice.

"Oh, hi Erza!" The blonde waved nervously at the redhead.

"Hi Lucy." Titania's gaze softened as she smiled at her teammate before turning her attention to the man she's with. A fierce glare replaced the smile that rested on the Requip mage's face and the man couldn't help but feel chills running down his spine. He didn't do something wrong, did he?

"You. Come with me." And with that, Erza dragged the poor guy off with ease, ignoring the cries of protest that came from both the blonde and the brunet.

Upon finding an isolated alley, the redhead immediately released the death grip she had on the Celestial Spirit mage's date.

"W-what do you want with me?" The man trembled in fear. He had a bad feeling about this.

The red-haired girl seemed to tower over him, even though the man obviously had the upper hand in terms of height.

"Are you the one who asked Lucy out on a date?" The woman questioned, a deadly glare plastered on her face.

No answer.

Erza grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "Answer me." She hissed.

Green orbs widened in fear as a sword materialized in the red-haired mage's free hand.

"I will castrate you" She spoke, her words laced with venom. She breathed, removing her grip on the man's shirt and causing him to fall on his butt.

Another sword materialized in Erza's now free hand.

"I'M SORRY!" He squeaked as he hastily stood up and made a run for it.

"…if you dare impugn Lucy's honor." The fierce redhead finished. She blinked; noting that the man had ran away.

She sent back her swords and shrugged. "Oh well."

The armored woman casually walked back to where they had left the blonde maiden. The blonde was currently gaping at an empty space, her brown orbs dilated.

"Close your mouth, Lucy." Erza told her.

The blonde blinked a few times before turning to the red-haired woman. "What did you do to him, Erza?"

"Oh? Nothing, really. I just talked to him." Erza answered, confusion lacing her words.

"You just talked to him." The other girl repeated.

"Mhm. That's what I said." The older girl responded.

"And can you explain why he came back running to me, yelling 'Your friend's a monster!' before running off?" Lucy questioned, hands on her hips.

Erza shrugged.

The Stellar mage sighed in exasperation. "Whatever. Come on, Erza. Let's just eat."

Was the blonde disappointed? Of course.

Who wouldn't be disappointed if your date ditches you just because they were scared by a friend?

Then again, it _is_ Erza.

Maybe she should find a man who could withstand Erza's wrath.

Yeah. She should keep that in mind the next time she's going on a date with anyone.

* * *

 **A/N:**

I'm not that good with happy stories. I don't know why. I somehow have gotten used to sad, angsty, dark, or depressing fics. (And sometimes, I can't just help but kill off a character) But it's time I wrote another happy-ish story.

Sorry for the grammatical errors and the OOC characters. This one's unedited. Sleep mainly occupied my thoughts as I wrote this. So, yeah. I'll be checking this one for mistakes while I write up the next chapter.

That's that. I suck at stories like this.

But cut me some slack. At least I tried.


End file.
